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Гордость и предубеждение
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Глава 58
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Pride and Prejudice
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Such I was,
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from eight to eight and twenty;
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and such I might still have been but for you,
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dearest,
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loveliest Elizabeth!
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What do I not owe you!
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You taught me a lesson,
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hard indeed at first,
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but most advantageous.
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By you,
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I was properly humbled.
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I came to you without a doubt of my reception.
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You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased.”
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“Had you then persuaded yourself that I should?”
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“Indeed I had.
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What will you think of my vanity?
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I believed you to be wishing,
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expecting my addresses.”
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“My manners must have been in fault,
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but not intentionally,
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I assure you.
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I never meant to deceive you,
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but my spirits might often lead me wrong.
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How you must have hated me after that evening?”
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“Hate you!
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I was angry perhaps at first,
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but my anger soon began to take a proper direction.”
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“I am almost afraid of asking what you thought of me,
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when we met at Pemberley.
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You blamed me for coming?”
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“No indeed;
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I felt nothing but surprise.”
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“Your surprise could not be greater than mine in being noticed by you.
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My conscience told me that I deserved no extraordinary politeness,
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and I confess that I did not expect to receive more than my due.”
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“My object then,”
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replied Darcy,
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“was to show you,
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by every civility in my power,
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that I was not so mean as to resent the past;
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and I hoped to obtain your forgiveness,
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to lessen your ill opinion,
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by letting you see that your reproofs had been attended to.
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How soon any other wishes introduced themselves I can hardly tell,
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but I believe in about half an hour after I had seen you.”
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He then told her of Georgiana’s delight in her acquaintance,
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and of her disappointment at its sudden interruption;
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which naturally leading to the cause of that interruption,
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she soon learnt that his resolution of following her from Derbyshire in quest of her sister had been formed before he quitted the inn,
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and that his gravity and thoughtfulness there had arisen from no other struggles than what such a purpose must comprehend.
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She expressed her gratitude again,
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but it was too painful a subject to each,
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to be dwelt on farther.
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After walking several miles in a leisurely manner,
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and too busy to know anything about it,
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they found at last,
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on examining their watches,
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that it was time to be at home.
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“What could become of Mr. Bingley and Jane!”
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was a wonder which introduced the discussion of their affairs.
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Darcy was delighted with their engagement;
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his friend had given him the earliest information of it.
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“I must ask whether you were surprised?”
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said Elizabeth.
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“Not at all.
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When I went away,
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I felt that it would soon happen.”
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“That is to say,
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you had given your permission.
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I guessed as much.”
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And though he exclaimed at the term,
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she found that it had been pretty much the case.
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“On the evening before my going to London,”
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said he,
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“I made a confession to him,
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which I believe I ought to have made long ago.
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I told him of all that had occurred to make my former interference in his affairs absurd and impertinent.
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His surprise was great.
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He had never had the slightest suspicion.
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I told him,
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moreover,
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that I believed myself mistaken in supposing,
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as I had done,
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that your sister was indifferent to him;
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and as I could easily perceive that his attachment to her was unabated,
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I felt no doubt of their happiness together.”
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Elizabeth could not help smiling at his easy manner of directing his friend.
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“Did you speak from your own observation,”
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said she,
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“when you told him that my sister loved him,
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or merely from my information last spring?”
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“From the former.
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I had narrowly observed her during the two visits which I had lately made here;
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and I was convinced of her affection.”
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“And your assurance of it,
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I suppose,
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carried immediate conviction to him.”
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“It did.
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Bingley is most unaffectedly modest.
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His diffidence had prevented his depending on his own judgment in so anxious a case,
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but his reliance on mine made every thing easy.
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I was obliged to confess one thing,
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which for a time,
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and not unjustly,
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offended him.
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I could not allow myself to conceal that your sister had been in town three months last winter,
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that I had known it,
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and purposely kept it from him.
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He was angry.
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But his anger,
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I am persuaded,
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lasted no longer than he remained in any doubt of your sister’s sentiments.
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He has heartily forgiven me now.”
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Elizabeth longed to observe that Mr. Bingley had been a most delightful friend;
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so easily guided that his worth was invaluable;
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but she checked herself.
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She remembered that he had yet to learn to be laughed at,
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and it was rather too early to begin.
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In anticipating the happiness of Bingley,
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which of course was to be inferior only to his own,
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he continued the conversation till they reached the house.
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In the hall they parted.
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End of chapter 58.
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