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Гордость и предубеждение
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Глава 34
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Pride and Prejudice
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“I have every reason in the world to think ill of you.
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No motive can excuse the unjust and ungenerous part you acted there.
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You dare not,
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you cannot deny,
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that you have been the principal,
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if not the only means of dividing them from each other—of exposing one to the censure of the world for caprice and instability,
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and the other to its derision for disappointed hopes,
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and involving them both in misery of the acutest kind.”
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She paused,
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and saw with no slight indignation that he was listening with an air which proved him wholly unmoved by any feeling of remorse.
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He even looked at her with a smile of affected incredulity.
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“Can you deny that you have done it?”
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she repeated.
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With assumed tranquillity he then replied:
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“I have no wish of denying that I did everything in my power to separate my friend from your sister,
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or that I rejoice in my success.
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Towards him I have been kinder than towards myself.”
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Elizabeth disdained the appearance of noticing this civil reflection,
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but its meaning did not escape,
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nor was it likely to conciliate her.
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“But it is not merely this affair,”
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she continued,
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“on which my dislike is founded.
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Long before it had taken place my opinion of you was decided.
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Your character was unfolded in the recital which I received many months ago from Mr. Wickham.
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On this subject,
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what can you have to say?
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In what imaginary act of friendship can you here defend yourself?
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or under what misrepresentation can you here impose upon others?”
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“You take an eager interest in that gentleman’s concerns,”
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said Darcy,
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in a less tranquil tone,
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and with a heightened colour.
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“Who that knows what his misfortunes have been,
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can help feeling an interest in him?”
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“His misfortunes!”
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repeated Darcy contemptuously;
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“yes,
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his misfortunes have been great indeed.”
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“And of your infliction,”
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cried Elizabeth with energy.
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“You have reduced him to his present state of poverty—comparative poverty.
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You have withheld the advantages which you must know to have been designed for him.
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You have deprived the best years of his life of that independence which was no less his due than his desert.
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You have done all this!
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and yet you can treat the mention of his misfortune with contempt and ridicule.”
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“And this,”
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cried Darcy,
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as he walked with quick steps across the room,
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“is your opinion of me!
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This is the estimation in which you hold me!
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I thank you for explaining it so fully.
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My faults,
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according to this calculation,
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are heavy indeed!
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But perhaps,”
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added he,
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stopping in his walk,
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and turning towards her,
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“these offenses might have been overlooked,
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had not your pride been hurt by my honest confession of the scruples that had long prevented my forming any serious design.
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These bitter accusations might have been suppressed,
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had I,
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with greater policy,
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concealed my struggles,
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and flattered you into the belief of my being impelled by unqualified,
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unalloyed inclination;
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by reason,
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by reflection,
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by everything.
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But disguise of every sort is my abhorrence.
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Nor am I ashamed of the feelings I related.
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They were natural and just.
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Could you expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your connections?—
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to congratulate myself on the hope of relations,
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whose condition in life is so decidedly beneath my own?”
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Elizabeth felt herself growing more angry every moment;
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yet she tried to the utmost to speak with composure when she said:
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“You are mistaken,
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Mr. Darcy,
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if you suppose that the mode of your declaration affected me in any other way,
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than as it spared me the concern which I might have felt in refusing you,
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had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner.”
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She saw him start at this,
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but he said nothing,
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and she continued:
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“You could not have made the offer of your hand in any possible way that would have tempted me to accept it.”
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Again his astonishment was obvious;
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and he looked at her with an expression of mingled incredulity and mortification.
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She went on:
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“From the very beginning—from the first moment,
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I may almost say—of my acquaintance with you,
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your manners,
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impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance,
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your conceit,
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and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others,
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were such as to form the groundwork of disapprobation on which succeeding events have built so immovable a dislike;
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and I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry.”
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“You have said quite enough,
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madam.
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I perfectly comprehend your feelings,
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and have now only to be ashamed of what my own have been.
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Forgive me for having taken up so much of your time,
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and accept my best wishes for your health and happiness.”
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And with these words he hastily left the room,
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and Elizabeth heard him the next moment open the front door and quit the house.
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The tumult of her mind,
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was now painfully great.
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She knew not how to support herself,
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and from actual weakness sat down and cried for half-an-hour.
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Her astonishment,
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as she reflected on what had passed,
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was increased by every review of it.
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That she should receive an offer of marriage from Mr. Darcy!
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That he should have been in love with her for so many months!
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So much in love as to wish to marry her in spite of all the objections which had made him prevent his friend’s marrying her sister,
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and which must appear at least with equal force in his own case—was almost incredible!
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It was gratifying to have inspired unconsciously so strong an affection.
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But his pride,
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his abominable pride—his shameless avowal of what he had done with respect to Jane—his unpardonable assurance in acknowledging,
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though he could not justify it,
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and the unfeeling manner in which he had mentioned Mr. Wickham,
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his cruelty towards whom he had not attempted to deny,
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soon overcame the pity which the consideration of his attachment had for a moment excited.
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She continued in very agitated reflections till the sound of Lady Catherine’s carriage made her feel how unequal she was to encounter Charlotte’s observation,
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and hurried her away to her room.
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End of chapter 34.
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