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Гордость и предубеждение
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Слушаем и читаем
Pride and Prejudice
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Chapter 34
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When they were gone,
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Elizabeth,
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as if intending to exasperate herself as much as possible against Mr. Darcy,
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chose for her employment the examination of all the letters which Jane had written to her since her being in Kent.
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They contained no actual complaint,
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nor was there any revival of past occurrences,
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or any communication of present suffering.
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But in all,
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and in almost every line of each,
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there was a want of that cheerfulness which had been used to characterise her style,
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and which,
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proceeding from the serenity of a mind at ease with itself and kindly disposed towards everyone,
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had been scarcely ever clouded.
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Elizabeth noticed every sentence conveying the idea of uneasiness,
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with an attention which it had hardly received on the first perusal.
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Mr. Darcy’s shameful boast of what misery he had been able to inflict,
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gave her a keener sense of her sister’s sufferings.
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It was some consolation to think that his visit to Rosings was to end on the day after the next—and,
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a still greater,
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that in less than a fortnight she should herself be with Jane again,
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and enabled to contribute to the recovery of her spirits,
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by all that affection could do.
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She could not think of Darcy’s leaving Kent without remembering that his cousin was to go with him;
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but Colonel Fitzwilliam had made it clear that he had no intentions at all,
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and agreeable as he was,
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she did not mean to be unhappy about him.
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While settling this point,
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she was suddenly roused by the sound of the door-bell,
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and her spirits were a little fluttered by the idea of its being Colonel Fitzwilliam himself,
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who had once before called late in the evening,
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and might now come to inquire particularly after her.
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But this idea was soon banished,
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and her spirits were very differently affected,
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when,
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to her utter amazement,
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she saw Mr. Darcy walk into the room.
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In an hurried manner he immediately began an inquiry after her health,
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imputing his visit to a wish of hearing that she were better.
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She answered him with cold civility.
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He sat down for a few moments,
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and then getting up,
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walked about the room.
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Elizabeth was surprised,
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but said not a word.
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After a silence of several minutes,
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he came towards her in an agitated manner,
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and thus began:
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“In vain I have struggled.
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It will not do.
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My feelings will not be repressed.
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You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”
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Elizabeth’s astonishment was beyond expression.
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She stared,
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coloured,
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doubted,
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and was silent.
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This he considered sufficient encouragement;
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and the avowal of all that he felt,
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and had long felt for her,
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immediately followed.
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He spoke well;
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but there were feelings besides those of the heart to be detailed;
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and he was not more eloquent on the subject of tenderness than of pride.
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His sense of her inferiority—of its being a degradation—of the family obstacles which had always opposed to inclination,
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were dwelt on with a warmth which seemed due to the consequence he was wounding,
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but was very unlikely to recommend his suit.
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In spite of her deeply-rooted dislike,
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she could not be insensible to the compliment of such a man’s affection,
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and though her intentions did not vary for an instant,
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she was at first sorry for the pain he was to receive;
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till,
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roused to resentment by his subsequent language,
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she lost all compassion in anger.
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She tried,
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however,
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to compose herself to answer him with patience,
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when he should have done.
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He concluded with representing to her the strength of that attachment which,
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in spite of all his endeavours,
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he had found impossible to conquer;
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and with expressing his hope that it would now be rewarded by her acceptance of his hand.
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As he said this,
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she could easily see that he had no doubt of a favourable answer.
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He spoke of apprehension and anxiety,
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but his countenance expressed real security.
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Such a circumstance could only exasperate farther,
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and,
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when he ceased,
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the colour rose into her cheeks,
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and she said:
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“In such cases as this,
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it is,
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I believe,
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the established mode to express a sense of obligation for the sentiments avowed,
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however unequally they may be returned.
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It is natural that obligation should be felt,
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and if I could feel gratitude,
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I would now thank you.
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But I cannot—I have never desired your good opinion,
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and you have certainly bestowed it most unwillingly.
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I am sorry to have occasioned pain to anyone.
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It has been most unconsciously done,
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however,
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and I hope will be of short duration.
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The feelings which,
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you tell me,
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have long prevented the acknowledgment of your regard,
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can have little difficulty in overcoming it after this explanation.”
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Mr. Darcy,
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who was leaning against the mantelpiece with his eyes fixed on her face,
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seemed to catch her words with no less resentment than surprise.
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His complexion became pale with anger,
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and the disturbance of his mind was visible in every feature.
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He was struggling for the appearance of composure,
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and would not open his lips till he believed himself to have attained it.
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The pause was to Elizabeth’s feelings dreadful.
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At length,
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with a voice of forced calmness,
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he said:
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“And this is all the reply which I am to have the honour of expecting!
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I might,
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perhaps,
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wish to be informed why,
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with so little endeavour at civility,
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I am thus rejected.
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But it is of small importance.”
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“I might as well inquire,”
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replied she,
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“why with so evident a desire of offending and insulting me,
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you chose to tell me that you liked me against your will,
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against your reason,
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and even against your character?
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Was not this some excuse for incivility,
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if I was uncivil?
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But I have other provocations.
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You know I have.
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Had not my feelings decided against you—had they been indifferent,
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or had they even been favourable,
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do you think that any consideration would tempt me to accept the man who has been the means of ruining,
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perhaps for ever,
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the happiness of a most beloved sister?”
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As she pronounced these words,
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Mr. Darcy changed colour;
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but the emotion was short,
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and he listened without attempting to interrupt her while she continued:
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